How I Met Your Mother S06E11 – The Mermaid Theory

Ted gets closer to Zoey and The Captain. Barney and Lily get in a fight, but Future Ted keeps forgetting what happened. Marshall and Robin spend time together.


Now that Zoey is hanging out with the gang, they are also seeing more of her husband, The Captain. However, they are all finding him rather creepy for some reason. That is, until Marshall bursts into Ted's apartment with an enlarged photo of him. He points out how the bottom half (smile) of The Captain's face is cheerful and the top half (eyes) "wants to murder you!"

Zoey calls and invites the gang to a retrospective for architect Frank Lloyd Wright. No one else wants to go so Ted says he will just go with Zoey alone. Lily cautions Ted that there are rules for a single guy to follow when hanging out with a married woman. Most importantly, he should never lie to the woman's spouse about anything.

Marshall explains how the rules change once married when it comes to friendships with members of the opposite sex. Robin adds that she and Marshall however can still hang out because they are old friends. Lily points out that the two actually never hang out so they agree to have dinner together. However, they soon realize that they are awkward alone because they don’t spend much time together outside of the group. Marshall explains that part of the reason they don't hang out is because of Barney's "Mermaid Theory". The theory states that no matter how much a man is repelled by a "manatee", as soon as they meet a clock starts ticking until the time when he will eventually find her a lovely "mermaid". For example, after Marshall hired an unappealing female assistant, Iris, two years ago, Barney told Marshall that though he viewed her as a “manatee” then, as he spent more time with her, she would eventually become a “mermaid” in his eyes. Barney says the “mermaid clock” is starting to tick, and a little over a year later, his assistant does in fact seem like a mermaid to Marshall in his eyes, much to his horror. Marshall explains to Robin that he doesn't want her, as Lily's best friend, to turn into a mermaid.

The two return to Ted and Robin's apartment rather drunk where inebriated Marshall is horrified to find that Robin is gaining mermaid characteristics. However, she is able to stop the transformation when she throws up at his feet. After that, Marshall never worried about Robin turning into a mermaid again.

Meanwhile, Future Ted explains that Barney and Lily started fighting when Lily declined to hang out with Barney. Or was it because she called him a "big stupid octopus head"? Future Ted can't recall. He tries to explain how they started to make up when Lily saved Barney and his ice cream from being hit by a motorcycle but resumed fighting when Lily suggested Barney was fat causing him to cry that one doesn't call a woman fat to her face. A woman? No, no, it must have been Barney who offended Lily. This seems to make sense until Barney performs a magic trick of causing a beer to float in front of her. Future Ted decides to give up telling this part of the story until he recalls that Barney told Marshall a mermaid would revert to a manatee if she became pregnant. Future Ted now recalls how the story really happened:

It was actually much later when Lily was pregnant. Lily declined to hang out with Barney because he always undresses her in his mind. Barney said she didn't have to worry because she was a manatee. Lily took offense. She started to forgive him when he rescued her and the unborn child from the motorcycle but got upset again when he suggested she was fat in the bar. He then caused a bottle of beer to "float" in front of her by placing it on her swollen belly. She was able to forgive him after he explained that she would be a mermaid again once her breasts swelled up to breast feed. She forgives him and Ted bursts into the bar in a dress stating, "Now we're even!".

Back in the present, Ted and Zoey are out and he overhears her telling The Captain that she is out with friends. Ted points out her lie and she assures him that she just doesn't want to worry The Captain who has a tendency to get jealous. This doesn't sit well with Ted and he goes to the gang for advice. Lily suggests that Ted spend time with both Zoey and The Captain so Ted decides to take them up on their offer to go for a ride on their boat.

When Ted arrives at the boat, The Captain tells him that it will be just the two of them. Ted believes that The Captain is going to kill him; this is underscored by various remarks from The Captain. With The Captain casually pointing out how isolated they are Ted decides he should let someone know where he is. Before he can, The Captain accidentally knocks his phone into the sea. The Captain says he has something for Ted so Ted decides to make a swim for it.

The Captain returns with a bottle of scotch and Ted starts to relax. However, its right then that the boat hits a bump and Ted falls into the water. The Captain is able to rescue him and Ted admits that he thought The Captain was out to get him. The Captain explains that he was just hoping that he and Ted could be friends since he knows that Zoey likes him. Zoey confirms in the bar that this was the reason she absented herself from the boat trip. She and Ted agree that they shouldn't hang out if they have feelings for each other. They both deny any feelings, but a clock starts ticking, indicating that the mermaid clock has started.

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