How I Met Your Mother S05E04 – The Sexless Innkeeper
Barney tells Ted he's been used after a girl stays over but doesn't have
sex with Ted. Barney and Robin suffer through an awkward "couple's
night" with Marshall and Lily.
Lily and Marshall are very excited to have another couple to hang out with. Future Ted explains that they had fared poorly with previous couples, coming across as clingy and desperate. With Barney and Robin now a couple, they hope to turn their luck around. After an evening together, Lily and Marshall are under the impression that it was the best night ever, but Robin and Barney leave with the opposite impression.
Robin and Barney ignore their messages and avoid Lily and Marshall, but after a half-hearted lie about aliens, they admit that they don't want to hang out. Devastated, Lily and Marshall blame each other for the failure, citing Marshall's photo montages and Lily's tendency to plan big outings much too quickly. After a week apart from Lily and Marshall, Robin and Barney realize they miss their friends, and head over to their condo, only to find them enjoying the company of another couple. Quickly, they become jealous of Lily and Marshall's new couple friends, leading to a rendition of "All by Myself" as a duet.
They interrupt another couple's night at Lily and Marshall's apartment, leading them outside with a trail of egg timers for Charades. In the rain, they profess their desire to be a foursome, and they all hug.
Meanwhile, Ted has settled into the persona of a professor, often wearing a tweed jacket, even at MacLaren's. He claims it attracts the ladies, but after a woman leaves his apartment in the morning without having sex, Barney calls him "The Sexless Innkeeper." He elaborates with a poem set in a Dickensian version of Queens, where he was caught in a blizzard, walked a few blocks to an ugly woman's apartment, and feigned sleep to avoid sex. Ted is understandably annoyed at the new nickname.
Later, as Barney and Robin prepare to leave for brunch with Lily and Marshall, Ted recites a poem of his own for Barney, telling the tale of a busty young blonde woman who was turned on by his professor persona. Despite Barney's skepticism, the young woman soon reveals herself at Ted's bedroom door, inviting Ted back to bed, thus ending the reign of the Sexless Innkeeper. Barney shouts "What have I done?" in shock, clearly missing his bachelor life.
Robin and Barney ignore their messages and avoid Lily and Marshall, but after a half-hearted lie about aliens, they admit that they don't want to hang out. Devastated, Lily and Marshall blame each other for the failure, citing Marshall's photo montages and Lily's tendency to plan big outings much too quickly. After a week apart from Lily and Marshall, Robin and Barney realize they miss their friends, and head over to their condo, only to find them enjoying the company of another couple. Quickly, they become jealous of Lily and Marshall's new couple friends, leading to a rendition of "All by Myself" as a duet.
They interrupt another couple's night at Lily and Marshall's apartment, leading them outside with a trail of egg timers for Charades. In the rain, they profess their desire to be a foursome, and they all hug.
Meanwhile, Ted has settled into the persona of a professor, often wearing a tweed jacket, even at MacLaren's. He claims it attracts the ladies, but after a woman leaves his apartment in the morning without having sex, Barney calls him "The Sexless Innkeeper." He elaborates with a poem set in a Dickensian version of Queens, where he was caught in a blizzard, walked a few blocks to an ugly woman's apartment, and feigned sleep to avoid sex. Ted is understandably annoyed at the new nickname.
Later, as Barney and Robin prepare to leave for brunch with Lily and Marshall, Ted recites a poem of his own for Barney, telling the tale of a busty young blonde woman who was turned on by his professor persona. Despite Barney's skepticism, the young woman soon reveals herself at Ted's bedroom door, inviting Ted back to bed, thus ending the reign of the Sexless Innkeeper. Barney shouts "What have I done?" in shock, clearly missing his bachelor life.
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