How I Met Your Mother S05E01 – Definitions

How I Met Your Mother S05E01 – Definitions

The gang uncover Barney and Robin's recent romance and Lily forces them to "define the relationship". Ted must decide what kind of professor he is going to be.

Future Ted explains how nervous he was his first day of teaching, when he was trying to figure out what kind of teacher he would be; formal disciplinarian or laid-back peer. Before his first class, Marshall gives Ted the gift of a worn leather fedora and whip, just like fictional college professor Indiana Jones ( later in the alley , Marshall is caught by the whip in the face). At which point they return to the apartment to find Robin and Barney making out on the couch.

That night, Ted has a dream about his first day. As he starts talking to his class, a girl raises her hand. She asks him who he thinks he is. A second student asks why he is teaching the class when he himself is a failure at architecture. A third student asks why he doesn't have a hat and a whip. Another student quickly asks why he isn't wearing any pants. Ted wakes in a panic, only to find Barney rifling through his night-stand for condoms.

Ted wonders whether "professor" is spelled with one f or two.

At the actual first day of class, Ted starts writing, "Professor Mosby" on the board, but forgets if the word "Professor" has one "F" or two. This starts him off on a spiral of anxiety, alternating between stern authority figure or laid-back buddy. The same girl depicted in his dream raises her hand, but following Barney's advice, Ted is not taking questions during the first class. She was attempting to tell him he was in the wrong classroom.

Students start answering Ted's questions about architecture, trying to dissuade him, but he only takes it as a challenge, and reworks their answers into positives. The real teacher eventually shows up, and humiliated, Ted runs across campus to his actual classroom. After being so embarrassed, Ted doesn't have the energy to think about what kind of teacher he'll be, and simply starts teaching.

Meanwhile, Barney and Robin have spent the summer sleeping together, but without any discussion about their relationship ("the Talk"). After the events of The Leap, Lily is ecstatic to have another couple to double date with, but the two quickly tell her they are not dating. They then lie to the gang all summer while hooking up secretly. When the gang walks in on the two of them making out on Ted's couch, Barney and Robin talk about how much they hate talking about relationships and feelings. Later that night, Marshall's law school buddy Brad asks Robin out on a date to a hockey game.

At the arena, Robin is enthusiastic about the game, but admits that she feels weird going out with Brad, because she has feelings for Barney. Brad tells Robin she needs to have "the Talk" with Barney, and suddenly, they are put on the Jumbotron for a public kiss. Back at the apartment, Ted tells Barney that Robin is already his girlfriend according to his "Gremlins" rule. During a tuxedo-themed night at the bar, Barney explains you cannot get a woman wet (let her shower in your house), expose her to sunlight (date her before sunset), or feed her after midnight (breakfast together), or she will turn into your girlfriend. Marshall laments being left out of the occasion. Barney rushes to the arena and interrupts the New York Rangers "Kiss Cam" by ineffectually punching Brad in the face. After apologizing, he and Robin are still unable to admit that they are dating.

Robin and Brad on the kiss cam.

Back at the apartment, after another night of sex, Robin tries to leave the room, but the doorknob detaches. Lily is outside, having sabotaged the door, and is waiting for them to have "the Talk." Robin and Barney pass a few notes under the door with vague explanations, none of which satisfy her (punctuated by Marshall cracking the whip and yelling "Not good enough"). Lured by Marshall's ploy of fanning the smell of fresh breakfast in front of their door, eventually Robin and Barney decide to lie and say that they are dating, but their lie clearly has elements of sincerity. Lily lets them out, prompting Marshall to crack the whip and yell "Good enough!". Robin and Barney leave the apartment hand-in-hand to go to brunch. Ted tells Lily that they're lying to her, to w

hich she responds that they don't realize they're not lying to each other.

Later that night, after being left out of Tuxedo Night, Marshall shows up dressed to the nines at MacLaren's.